Goblin, Gremlin or Troll?

We all have challenging people in our lives. Those people can be co-workers, family members, and, sadly, life partners. I have been on a quest to find out how to disentangle my beautiful heart from these kinds of people. Being a very kind empath, I usually give out the care and consideration that I need from others. After all, aren't we supposed to be the people the world needs? However, rarely do I ever receive that same respect in return, and that opens me up to being misused. As I was identifying this today, I began to look for a solution as I often do. Since I find myself stuck in an unhealthy environment at the moment, my heart is looking for crevices through which I can still grow. I began to paint a picture in my mind, and in that picture, difficult people get a name. The main challenger in my life is called Troll. What this does for me is put that person into a fictional character so that I can separate them from my real-world emotions. It also assigns characteristics that are already identified by folk culture, meaning I don't have to organize them in my mind.

So, what are the characteristics of a troll? They build bridges that seem helpful, but require a toll for their effort. This is classic manipulation. Trolls are lumbering and destructive by nature and detest light because, if exposed to light, they turn to stone. That person who drags all positive attitudes into a hole. The one who cannot be challenged without getting defensive, because if the truth comes to light, they will be exposed for what they are. They flip everything on its head to make you appear as the problem. There is a version of this that requires all positivity, whom I will label Siren, but that is another topic. The troll, however, is the creature who gaslights and deals out acceptance at their control, but calls others out for not being grateful for all their effort.

I got some help from my morning reading from Lisa Estabrook. "New intentions and seeds of empowerment thrive in a well-tended garden, but it is important to know the best time to plant them. It is not advised to plant new seeds when it is hot and dry, or when the weather is stormy and inhospitable, or when you are tired or unwell. During these times, it is best to rest and plan your beautiful garden in your imagination. Imagination is one of the best tools we have as humans for connecting to our inner wisdom, our intuition, and summoning our outer gardener. While seeds don't like to be forced, they also don't like to be ignored, and it is important to spend time with them every day. With deep gratitude and respect, water your seeds of intention often with large amounts of self-compassion, self-love, forgiveness, and self-acceptance."

I have been making lots of progress in tending the little garden of myself, but I have a troll stomping all over it, and other circumstances keep me in a place of crossing clubs with this troll to defend my garden instead of being able to enjoy and nurture it. My intentions are there, and I will be focusing on caring for them every day in my heart so that when the time comes, I will be able to grow freely at last.