What is My Truth?

The phrase my truth has been used in many ways, but I feel like it is supposed to signify that what may be true for one person is not for another. I believe in that and have experienced it for myself. While the words notice your surroundings are true, they are not for me. You see, I am a super sensor already, and the last thing I need is to be more observant. I carry an enormous amount of anxiety as it is, and that would literally be wrong for me.

Beyond that, what is it that does encapsulate who I am? Well, I had an ice skating student come thank me for being so kind, perhaps that is part of it. Since I am autistic, I am fairly blunt, but I am not being mean; I am simply a person who cuts out most inefficiency. Sometimes, people mistake that for rudeness and judge me for it, which is partly why I don't do so well in scenarios with a lot of newness. I get a little nervous, and it exacerbates my blunt manner. But the words that come out of my mouth do not define me. My heart is kind, and I exude gentle acceptance to all. Those who judge my words don't know my heart, and if they don't know me, I probably shouldn't care what they think.

I took a couple of days away from the blog because I have some orders that need to be filled, but I found that anxiety started to build because I have a need to keep tasks in little groups of two or three, and I started exceeding that. I kept trying to breathe through, but my internal workings just kept speeding up, and a sense of dread began to settle in. Last night, I put down my work and just sat with my anxiety. This morning, I said no to anything that felt driven. This tells me a little more about myself. I fight for what my heart tells me is true, and I extend peace to others. For today, my truth is to extend the same goodness I give to others to myself.